


Shatter Your Illusions (of Love)

by Quettaser



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, F/F, Fluff, Witches, a variety of additional kpop ladies also appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 15:45:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17046416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quettaser/pseuds/Quettaser
Summary: The rest of the coven’s meeting was a blur in Byulyi’s memory. This would be worse than a group project in school. Worse than confessing to her old roommate, who ended up being her first girlfriend. Worse than most terrible things Byulyi could think of that didn’t cause actual bodily harm. She’d have to spend the next two weeks working directly with Yongsun on their solstice performance without combusting into a cloud of tiny anguished atoms. Not that she could do that, but her body yearned to.





	Shatter Your Illusions (of Love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theskipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskipper/gifts).



> Thanks to M for listening to me whine about this. Title from Gold Dust Woman by Fleetwood Mac.
> 
> I loved this prompt and it was super fun to write! <3

No one knew exactly when magic snuck back into the world, but it crept in slowly like morning fog, rolling over rough ground and making it appear smooth. People had forgotten that wishing wells hadn’t always worked, that it had been safe to whistle at night. That the moon hadn’t always tugged at the spirit, that the forests hadn’t always hummed with mystery.

It was the same story Esna told them each year before the solstice, gathered in the dark basement of her Wolgwang café, the bare earthen walls surrounding them to keep their secrets safe. The girls were never able to figure out how she skirted the health inspector each year, but the café never closed. Esna would say that magic had touched each of them and it was their job to protect it for another year, lest it disappear again. That they were part of something that spanned the world and while their coven was small - less than two dozen women in their little city - they played an important role in protecting the delicate balance of the cosmos.

The first few times Byulyi had heard the speech, she’d scoffed. How could she play a role in the balance of the cosmos? She’d also been a teenager, so scoffing was her reaction to most things. She took the speech more seriously now, even if she wasn’t always aware of her position in the grand cosmic sequence.

The Wolgwang café was tucked away in a quiet corner of the city. It was one of those warm local coffee shops, stuffed with books and cushy chairs and green plants hanging from the ceiling. By day, it sold good coffee and pastries and by night, there were board games, hot sandwiches and live music. It was a café with regulars and if newcomers wandered in, they became regulars.

Esna had hired Byulyi to work in the café as soon as her magic had started to show. She had only been sixteen at the time, but Wheein had been even younger than her and Wheein had been working in the café for a year already. Esna’s talent - she’d always said not to call it magic outright, like scaring away a bird if you yell and point - was finding others with talents and bringing them into the coven.

They called themselves witches because what else could they be called, a small group of women with extra-ordinary talents that seemed to emerge from the ether?

Byulyi was sixteen when her pencil first twisted in her hand. The words in her school notebook had started to take on a life of their own. It had been scary at the time, chemistry equations unbalancing themselves all over the desk in her bedroom. Her parents thought she was being rebellious. She thought she might being going crazy with stress. But Esna had knocked on their door the next day, calling herself a tutor to Byulyi’s parents.

It had made Byulyi’s heart stutter in her chest, seeing the three of them waiting for her downstairs. This stranger and her parents, grim-faced over something Byulyi couldn’t control. They’d talked about Byulyi needing to take school more seriously, how it was important that Byulyi didn’t throw away their hard work by neglecting her duties as a student.

And then her father had stepped out of the room to take a phone call. “Dear,” Esna had said, turning to Byulyi’s mother, “could you get me a glass of water?” Esna’s voice had rumbled and scratched in her throat.

When her mother had left the room, Esna turned back to Byulyi. “I know what you are, sohnyeo. There’s nothing to be scared of, I can help you get your words under control.”

Byulyi stiffened. Why would she call her granddaughter? How could this woman have known about her words? “My words?” She looked towards the kitchen to make sure that her mother hadn’t heard.

“Oh, I felt those little buggers last night. Nothing a little practice can’t fix. I really am a tutor. Of sorts.” She had said it so simply that something in Byulyi buckled. Perhaps it was sleep deprivation or the stress of not being able to write anything without it unraveling in front of her but in that moment, Byulyi had been willing to try anything. She had nodded before she could change her mind.

When Byulyi’s mother had come back into the room and given Esna her water, Esna continued. “Byulyi, are you a hard worker?”

“Yes,” which had been true.

“Then I may have a way for you to work on your self discipline, if I have your parents’ permission.”

Byulyi had started her first shift at the café the next day but it would take months before Esna would let her write more than just customer orders. And even that had gone disastrously at first. But Esna had tutored her, trained her to channel her words and writing into something intentional.

Ten years later, Byulyi had full control over her sliver of power. Her written menus attracted and compelled customers to try new items. She was always able to convey her intentions, no matter then pen or paper she used. She knew how to wring emotions from every stroke of her hand, though sometimes the effect wasn’t very noticeable.

Wheein had always teased her for having a power just as weak as her own, even though Wheein’s slight influence over luck was far more significant than anything Byulyi could accomplish. Luck had a cascading effect on the world and could spiral in unpredictable ways. Byulyi’s power was only really useful for making someone hungry for hotteok.

But the solstice was fast approaching, which meant that Byulyi’s power would soon be tested. Esna had already told her that she’d be one of the witches picked to display their talents to the coven. The Sharing of Talents, they called it, Esna had always said that the true name had been lost. Byulyi would have to display the best of her powers in partnership with another witch to the rest of the coven as part of the solstice festivities. She would find out who during the coven’s meeting.

Their meetings were held in the dark basement of The Wolgwang café with only the faint glow of candles to light the gathered circle of women. Wheein had spent a lot of time trying to convince Esna that the candles were a fire hazard and that really, it would be okay to use electricity, but Esna had insisted on keeping the meetings as traditional as possible. _We aren’t in the middle of the woods and the heat is on,_ Esna had said, unswayed. _We can sacrifice the luxury of light, like the least of our Foremothers._

They tried not to argue with Esna about the Foremothers. That was the quickest way to end up in a three hour lecture about the importance of maintaining the rites and traditions of the Foremothers. So much had been lost when magic first left the world, _what still remained was more precious than jade_ , had become one of Esna’s favorite sayings.

That’s part of why the solstice and the Sharing of Talents was so important, Esna was saying now, having finished her brief history of magic and the universe, the way she did before every solstice. It pushed covens to become stronger, to test their powers the way strife had tested the Foremothers.

Byulyi had heard the speech too many times for it to keep her attention. She looked around at the room, only seeing regular faces. New witches were rare. Esna and Uhm Junghwa, the oldest of the witches, sat at the top of the circle. The rest of the witches included Seulgi and the other women from the florist, the two daycare teachers, the accountant, some of the young girls who had only been discovered by Esna in the past three years. Yongsun was there too, discreetly waving at Byulyi when they made eye contact. The candlelight made it look like she was glowing, which was a problem for Byulyi’s concentration.

Yongsun had joined their coven some years ago, though she had been older than most girls when Esna had started bringing her to meetings. But Buylyi had only gotten to know her over the last two years, when Esna had encouraged Yongsun to start performing at the café as a test of her singing powers.

She was sweet and goofy and plucked lightly on the guitar when she sang so she didn’t have to strain to sing over it. She always drank tea when she performed and she made Byulyi feel like she was thirteen again after she’d had her first growth spurt and she didn’t know how to control all of the new limb that was suddenly hers. But she was an adult, she had had crushes and relationships and even figured out that she liked girls, which was almost certainly harder than discovering that she was a witch.

Her crush on Yongsun was the worst kind of infatuation. It made her skittery and nervous when normally she’d try to be cool, maybe gently tease her crush. She knew she was good at making girls blush. But instead, Byulyi had knocked over an entire stack of mugs the first time she’d heard Yongsun sing and Wheein and Hyejin had never let her forget it.

Byulyi was so distracted thinking about Yongsun’s shy laughter at Wheein and Hyejin’s teasing that she didn’t notice that the room had turned to look in her direction. A sharp elbow from Wheein startled Byulyi out of her daydream.

“Byulyi-ya,” Esna intoned, in that way that ajummas had of scolding without acknowledging what they were scolding for, “you and Yongsun-a will be paired together for the Sharing of Talents for this solstice. We expect great things from you.”

Yongsun smiled and nodded, cutting her eyes between Esna and Byulyi.

The rest of the coven’s meeting was a blur in Byulyi’s memory. This would be worse than a group project in school. Worse than confessing to her old roommate, who ended up being her first girlfriend. Worse than most terrible things Byulyi could think of that didn’t cause actual bodily harm. She’d have to spend the next two weeks working directly with Yongsun on their solstice performance without combusting into a cloud of tiny anguished atoms. Not that she could do that, but her body yearned to.

After the meeting, once the candles had been blown out and the other witches had started to leave, Byulyi snuck behind the counter of the café to grab her notepad, but Yongsun caught up with her before she could slip out the back.

“Byulyi,” Yongsun started, “do you think we should write a song together?” She leaned on the counter, keeping her voice low.

The thought of writing words that Yongsun would sing felt like it rattled through Byulyi’s entire body before settling somewhere in her chest like a bad cough or a warm drink. Byulyi also didn’t have a different idea. “Uh, yeah. We could do that.”

“Great,” and Yongsun’s smile was blinding after the darkness of the basement. “See you tomorrow, then?”

Bylyui managed to choke out a, “Sounds great,” without making a complete ass of herself.

When she got to her apartment, Byulyi spent ten minutes doodling song ideas in her notebook before she gave up and went to bed, her only significant writing being, _sublimate feelings through lyrics? but secretly??_.

Byulyi knew their first songwriting session would be a disaster the moment Yongsun sat down across from her at the table in the back of the café. She had walked in with her guitar and her hair bouncing over her shoulder like a shampoo commercial and Byulyi had been trying to take someone’s sandwich order, not have a meltdown. 

“Yah, Byulyi,” Hyejin had called from behind the counter. “Yongsun unnie is here!”

Byulyi had startled, finished taking the order and stalked over to the counter. She had pulled up her arm like she was going to throw her notepad at Hyejin. “Oh, she’s unnie and I’m not?”

Hyejin had smiled and shrugged and went back to foaming milk. Byulyi regretted not throwing the notepad. Swallowing her frustration, she waved Yongsun over to a back table.

“How are you?” Yongsun asked and Byulyi blustered her way through an answer and ignored Hwasa when she brought two mugs of coffee to the table.

Youngsun thanked her and then leaned forward, lowering her voice as she looked around the café. “So, your power is writing things, right?”

“Oh, uhh, yeah,” Byulyi said as she untied her apron and draped it over the back of her chair.

“Since mine is singing, do you think it makes sense to write a song together?” Yongsun was tapping her fingers on the table. “I know I suggested it last night, but if you have another idea, I don’t want to steamroll you or anything.” She clasped her fingers around her coffee and looked up through her lashes at Byulyi. It was terrible and perfect.

“Um, well, I don’t have a different idea. I mean, I think that’s a good idea. We should try to write a song.”

“Great,” Yongsun said, once again blinding with her smile. She sat back and reached for her guitar case. “I just need a little bit of time to tinker with a melody I’ve been working on, if you want to try to write something while you listen?”

“That works.” Byulyi had never written a song before, she didn’t have preferences about how to accomplish the task.

It took about four minutes of Yongsun quietly humming along with her guitar before Byulyi began to panic. How was she supposed to write a song with Yongsun sitting across from her for three hours? Just existing with her guitar and her cheeks and her teeth. It was stifling to Byulyi’s creativity. The scribbles in her notebook from the night before were more coherent than the series of sounds she was currently putting down on paper.

Byulyi heard Wheein and Hyejin snickering behind the counter as she tore a piece of paper out of her notepad. She was tempted to ball up the paper and throw it over her shoulder in their direction, but reconsidered. That would be unprofessional. Byulyi and Yongsun worked separately for a while, sipping at their coffee and occasionally peeking at each other’s progress.

Byulyi began to relax, writing more as she settled into the rhythm of putting pen to paper. It was a headspace she was used to finding, the comfort in language, in the movement of her hand over paper.

After Yongsun had finished her coffee, she sighed and stretched, the soft skin of her arms jolting Byulyi from her writing. “Ready to share?” she asked.

Byulyi looked down at her notepad, which was an assortment of phrases and topics that could be elaborated into a song. It was the best she was going to get. “Sure.”

Yongsun started to play a short melody, a short repeating snippet of song that she paired with soft humming. Byulyi couldn’t tell if the goosebumps on her arms had come from Yongsun’s power or just from the song being good. “That was great.”

Blush crept onto Yongsun’s cheeks as she idly picked at her guitar. “Thanks.” She moved her guitar to the side. “Can I see what you have?”

Byulyi passed her notepad over to Yongsun. She’d taken care not to put too much power into her words, she didn’t want to accidentally influence Yongsun with her current mess of feelings. A big part of using her powers involved being intentional with her feelings when she was writing. Her current mental state - infatuated with Yongsun’s existence - would have been hard to manage.

“Oh, I like this one,” Yongsun said. She held up the notepad and pointed at the phrase _bittersweet honey_. “Maybe we could use that as the theme?”

Before Byulyi could respond, Yongsun was picking up her guitar again, humming the melody. She started playing the music again, this time adding in “bittersweet honey,” in different tones, testing out the words. She seemed satisfied with how it sounded. 

Byulyi was too entranced with her voice to have an opinion, which Yongsun seemed to notice. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I put too much, umm, emphasis in that?” She looked nervously around the café again.

“Oh, no, no. It was fine.” Frankly, Byulyi wasn’t sure. She was normally pretty good at detecting when another witch was using her powers, like when Hyejin tried to make her beers stronger than they strictly needed to be. But Byulyi was stuck here. How much of this was Yongsun using the power of her voice and how much of it was just Byulyi’s awful crush confusing her senses?

Yongsun looked bashful. “I still sometimes have a hard time controlling the strength of my voice.”

Byulyi made a show of looking around the café just to make sure that no one else had been enthralled by Yongsun’s voice. She had a feeling that Wheein would have let her know if that had been the case, but wanted to reassure Yongsun anyway. “I think we’re in the clear,” Byulyi said in a hushed tone.

Yongsun giggled and Byulyi had never felt more triumphant.

They kept working, Yongsun tweaking the melody and developing a song structure, while Byulyi kept trying to write more words. The rest of the session was rough for Byulyi. Not because Yongsun was strict, but because Byulyi’s attention was torn between the movements of Yongsun’s hands and her frustration over the words on the page. Every so often they’d talk about the mood they wanted for the song or Yongsun would play two chords and have Byulyi choose one. 

The sun had started to set when Yongsun stretched, putting her guitar down with finality. The orange light splashed window patterns on the floor across the café. It lit Yongsun from behind, a sherbert halo surrounding her. Byulyi’s words on the page felt inadequate in comparison to the actual painting in front of her.

Not that she was supposed to be writing a song _about_ Yongsun. But that was where she ended up every time she tried to write.

Byulyi was so wrapped up in scolding herself for not focusing that she missed it when Yongsun started to talk, “...so you should come over to my apartment on Thursday,” she was saying. “We should be able to _focus_ better if we aren’t in public.” It was clear by Yongsun’s intonation that she was talking about using their powers.

But her apartment? “That sounds fine.” That was _not_ fine. Existing in her space would be torture for Byulyi’s delicate heart.

Byulyi must have sputtered because Yongsun’s eyes widened and she laughed. “Oh, that sounded so suggestive!” Her cheeks were shining.

Byulyi laughed too and let Yongsun give her directions to her apartment - she lived above the florist across town - without completely melting down. She was even able to walk Yongsun to the door and say goodbye without being too weird. At least she thought.

Hyejin and Wheein were watching her intently when she turned around. “So, how was songwriting with Yongsun unnie?” asked Hyejin, not sounding sincere at all.

“Weren’t you listening?” Byulyi asked, going to grab her apron off of her chair. “You tell me.” She was only half joking. 

“You know I set that table, right?” Wheein said, following behind. “I gave you the best chance you could have possibly had. You didn’t blow it, right?”

“I’m touched you cared,” Byulyi said. It hadn’t felt like Wheein’s touch of luck had changed anything, but Byulyi was still in a haze. She tried to refocus for the rest of her shift, leaving her song writing worries for later. 

As Thursday approached, Byulyi tried to work on the song each night after her shift but she foundered every time. She’d get distracted thinking about Yongsun’s voice or the way her hair framed her face. _Bittersweet Honey_ , as she’d started to call the song in her head, was supposed to be melancholy, not a daydream about Byulyi’s crush. She felt herself struggling with her power and once she fell asleep her dreams were messy and chaotic, giant words trying to eat her alive. 

She ran out of days until Thursday and only had disparate stanzas to show for her efforts. She hoped that Yongsun wouldn’t be disappointed.

The florist was tucked away in an alley behind a produce stall and an antique shop. Byulyi knew some of the girls that worked there, familiar faces from coven meetings. She’d spoken with Seulgi a few times over the years. The cloying smell of pollen wafted into the alley, following Byulyi as she went to buzz at the side door that went up to the second floor apartment.

Yongsun buzzed open the door and Byulyi went up the stairs, her heart fluttering the entire time. Yongsun opened the door with a chipper, “Hello,” and Byulyi followed her into the small apartment. The space was just as soft and pretty as Yongsun herself in her hoodie and sweats. Plants and small pieces of art covered most of the surfaces in the apartment, Yongsun glittering in the middle of it.

Byulyi thought she had steeled herself for a few hours in Yongsun’s space, in a place that would be hers, that would smell like her, feel like her. But clearly Byulyi’s preparation hadn’t been enough. Byulyi was used to being in the spaces of other witches, in the way their spirits spread and settled on the world around them, like dustings of snow. The Wolgwang was saturated with the energies of Hyejin and Wheein as well as Esna, though she wasn’t around that often. She’d been there for so many years that her presence had bonded to the walls.

But being surrounded by Yongsun’s spirit on all sides was too intense for Byulyi. She wished she’d fought to have have this writing session on more neutral ground. Instead, Yongsun was bringing her a mug of tea, apologizing how she knew she couldn’t make coffee anywhere as delicious as Hyejin.

“That’s okay,” Byulyi said, swallowing her nerves and sitting down in the chair across from the couch and pulling her notebook from her bag. She hoped that Yongsun would have strong opinions about which lines were worth keeping because Byulyi’s ability to edit was shot. She’d be happy to let Yongsun lead the way.

She waited until Yongsun was settled with her guitar on the couch, sunlight dappling over her skin in several places Byulyi would like to touch. It was distracting. “Here’s what I’ve written so far,” she said, handing over her notebook to Yongsun, rather than drooling or lying down on the ground and crying over Yongsun’s collarbones.

Byulyi tried to listen to the sounds of the street outside the window. The soft pattering of feet in the alley, the bell of the door to the florist downstairs, the noise of bicycle tires, anything she could listen to that wasn’t Yongsun’s breathing as she read the words Byulyi wrote.

But she couldn’t completely block it out. She could still hear Yongsun’s hums and ohs. “Oh, Byulyi-ya, I like these.” Byulyi looked up to see Yongsun pointing at two different pages. Yongsun set the notebook on the table, still facing her, and picked up her guitar and immediately started playing the song while singing some of Byulyi’s lyrics.

She could tell Yongsun was putting a little bit of her power into it based on the way Byulyi could feel the words creep over her skin.

“Yeah,” Yongsun said after she finished. “Those will work great, though I don’t think you have a bunch of power in them yet. If we can both put everything we have in it, it should work great.”

Byulyi agreed and they went back to work in relative silence. It was a more comfortable atmosphere than the café had been, but Byulyi was still struggling with getting her words to flow. After a few hours of restless work, Byulyi dropped her notebook onto the table and sighed.

Yongsun stopped playing and looked at her, curious.

“I just don’t know if this shows my talent enough.” Byulyi ran a hand through her hair. “I could always make a sign, I guess. I could hold it up behind you while you sing.” Yongsun’s nose wrinkled - she was so deeply cute - and Byulyi shook her head in agreement. “Yeah, I don’t like that idea either.”

“Well, do you want to try doing it with me?”

“Try what?”

“Singing.” She said it in a way that was almost flippant. 

Byulyi laughed and shook her head, “I’m not a singer.”

“You could rap or do it as a spoken word, we could trade lines,” suggested Yongsun.

“Would that even do anything? That’s not how my power manifests.”

Yongsun paused, looking puzzled. “But it’s still _in_ you.”

“But not really, maybe in my hand. Sort of,” Byulyi replied, waving said hand around. Yongsun still looked confused. “Wait, start over.”

“Junghwa unnie always explained how our powers worked by having us visualize the magic living inside of us and that we channel it however we’re best suited.” Yongsun looked at Byulyi and gestured to herself. “I sing, Junhyun can spark fires by snapping her fingers, you use words. But we could learn to use it another way, if we practiced enough.”

It was completely different from how Byulyi had learned it from Esna. “Esna unnie explained it as the opposite. That magic exists in the world around us, in objects and nature and that we’re gifted with a way to access it. Like my writing is the thing that closes the circuit so that the magic can work.”

“Huh.” Yongsun considered her words. “It's strange that the ajummas have known each other for so long and that they think so differently.”

“When I first started, one of the other ajummas told me that they used to fight all the time when they were younger.” 

Yongsun laughed. “That wouldn’t surprise me, they’re both stubborn as hell.” She reached for her guitar again. “Did you want to try, though?” Byulyi didn’t respond. If she pretended she didn’t hear it, maybe she wouldn’t have to do it. “Byulyi-yah,” Yongsun whined. She had started to pout and Byulyi was going to crack any second. “Try singing it for me.”

“Aish, I don't know,” Byulyi said, trying to look away from Yongsun’s pleading face. Her beautiful, glowing pleading face.

Yongsun took her hand. “Just once. For me.” Byulyi was glad that she couldn't accidently spark a fire with her talents the way Juhyun could, because she was sure she’d engulf the whole building with her nervous energy.

“Fine,” Byulyi relented.

“Hooray!” Yongsun cheered. “I’ll play for you.”

Byulyi picked up the notebook from the table, placed it on her lap and cleared her throat. She tried to divorce herself from her body while she sang-read the words she’d written. She didn’t want to listen to the sound of her voice so she just focused on the way she had written it with her power.

When it was over and Byulyi felt like she could exist inside of her own body again, she asked, “Did you feel anything?”

“Yes, but I think I’m biased.” Yongsun was flush again, pink streaking across her cheeks and nose. She played with her bangs, looking away. “You know, cause I know how it’s supposed to sound. It was really nice though. I liked it.”

Byulyi was going to melt into the floor long before the solstice. She'd once heard of a witch two provinces over that could do that.

“I could maybe harmonize with you?” Byulyi suggested. “But I think anything more than that would probably just take away from the performance.”

Yongsun shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true, but-” She took a deep breath. “Then, I think you should try to make your words as powerful as possible. I can definitely feel your energy when I sing some of these lines, but I don’t think it’s going to be strong enough for other people.”

“I can do that, I think.”

Yongsun bit her lip. “You should umm. You should let the song be sexy. I know we talked about it being melancholy before but I think it might be better if we let it be sexy.”

“Oh. Sure,” was all Byulyi could think to say. After that, the energy in the room shifted. It became clammy and sweaty, like their practicing had begun to summon heat into the air. Byulyi left not long after though and the air outside the apartment seemed chilly in comparison. But she’d be back in another few days.

Byulyi went home with her head still swimming. As soon as she took out her notebook, the words seemed to flow out of her, the way they did when she was still learning how to harness and control her talent. She didn’t try to stop them this time. It was fine if the lyrics were about Yongsun, that was just being honest with herself. Lying to yourself was never a source of power, Esna had taught her.

She imbued the words with as much power and honesty as she could, focusing her mind on each pen stroke, on each image paired with the letters. Byulyi had never written lyrics before, but she’d written poetry and she was much more experienced than she was when she was sixteen and overwhelmed by life and hormones and being a witch.

She wasn’t sure how long she wrote, but when she was done the sky was dark and she’d gone through at least ten pages of her notebook. Reading it back, the song was maybe a little forward but Yongsun said she didn’t mind if the song was racy. Byulyi had definitely successfully sublimated her feelings into the lyrics. The pages practically screamed romantic feelings at Byulyi, which meant she’d been successful, but also that she’d have to look Yongsun in the eye when she read it. 

The next three days passed at a crawl. The solstice was approaching and all the girls at the café could feel the air thinning. Magic was closer to the surface during the solstice, Esna had always said. It was easier to connect to power during this time of the year, that was why the solstice festivals were important. They were about renewal and reconnection.

But Byulyi just wanted to be back at Yongsun’s apartment, her notebook practically bursting with the lyrics she’d written after the last songwriting session. She just wanted to get it over with. Sitting on all of that power was too nerve-wracking. Waiting for Yongsun’s approval - or rejection - was just as bad. 

But finally the day arrived and Byulyi was walking back up the stairs to Yongsun’s apartment. Seulgi and Junhyun had already waved her into the florist and shown her the array of ferns and flowers that were heading over to the café for the solstice.

Upstairs, Yongsun greeted her and was quick to pull out her guitar. 

“Oh, Byulyi-ya.” Yongsun sounded awed. It was a heady feeling, being able to affect her voice that much. “These look incredible.” She kept her touch on the notebook light, fingers running over lines of lyrics. “I can feel you here through the page.” Byulyi was ready to swear that she could feel Yongsun’s touch through her fingers on the page.

The _feeling_ of the last writing session was back, like there was too much oxygen in the room. A light-headed, woozy feeling that fogged up Byulyi’s mind. Like maybe they’d accidentally manifested a small tropical rainforest inside Yongsun’s apartment. Byulyi practiced her harmonizing quietly as Yongsun sang their song. And that was the worst part of it, it really felt like _their_ song. By the time Yongsun had let the last note end, Byulyi was sure she had sweated through her shirt.

There was no hiding now, singing this song about wanting to hold someone’s body close and the trembles of fingertips. They practiced over and over, until each part of the song felt right, Byulyi’s voice getting louder and more confident to match Yongsun’s.

They’d taken a break for water and a short rest. “Now we just have to do it in front of everyone,” Yongsun said, splaying dramatically on the couch next to Byulyi after putting her empty glass on the table. Her head was tipped over the back and Byulyi felt like a pervert for looking at her neck.

“But you perform all the time.” Byulyi had watched her in the café plenty of times, she always seemed comfortable with being in front of others like that.

“It’s different, performing for people who don’t know you’re a witch,” Yongsu nsaid with a wave of her hand.

“You’ll do fine,” Byulyi said and she reached over to grab Yongsun’s hand. She had only wanted to give her a reassuring pat. A friendly squeeze. But Yongsun didn’t let go. It felt charged, all of the places their fingers touched. It felt inevitable, like the way you could smell a thunderstorm and a roll of thunder would follow, when Byulyi leaned over Yongsun to kiss her.

It was a shallow kiss, they were closer to breathing together than kissing but it was still just as lovely as Byulyi had hoped. Her free hand cupped Yongsun’s cheek and her skin was soft. Byulyi swore she could feel Yongsun’s energy trembling beneath her touch. Like the song lyrics, Byulyi was the butterfly fluttering for the honey of Yongsun’s body.

Yongsun squeaked into the kiss and Byulyi finally realized what she had done. Oh, fuck. Oh, crap. She’d actually kissed her. Byulyi pulled away suddenly and disentangled their fingers. When had that happened?

“Uhh, great practice. I think we’re ready for the solstice,” Byulyi sputtered while she grabbed her notebook and her jacket. She couldn’t bear to look at Yongsun’s face. She bolted down the stairs with a, “See you for the performance,” and didn’t look back.

The hours that followed were some of the worst of Byulyi’s life. She did her best to keep busy so she didn’t have to think about the way Yongsun had felt or the ball of disappointment that now lived in her gut. Her apartment had never been cleaner. But the solstice was approaching and there was nothing Byulyi could do to stop it.

The basement of the Wolgwang was warm, the earth trapping in heat. The fresh plants and flowers from the florist filled the room, adding splashes of color against the dark walls. The witches chatted quietly, there had been refreshments set out upstairs in the café, the solstice was a bigger event than their normal meetings.

The chairs were gathered in their usual circle, Esna and Junghwa at the top but this time there was a gap next to them, where Yongsun and Byulyi would stand and perform. Byulyi hadn’t seen Yongsun since she left her apartment the day before. She’d hid in the storeroom of the café upstairs earlier until she was sure Yongsun had already arrived, hoping to avoid talking to her altogether before the performance.

A warm touch on her arm told her she hadn’t been successful. She thought it would be Hyejin or Wheein but it was Yongsun that grabbed her and pulled her to the side of the stairs. Esna was going to be starting the solstice meeting in a few minutes. She had been so close to making it through today without collapsing like a dwarf star of guilt.

“Byulyi-ya,” Yongsun whispered, not letting go of Byulyi’s wrist. 

She expected Yongsun to look upset or disappointed, but she looked concerned. Byulyi wasn’t sure if that was better than the other options. She also looked radiant, even here under the ground and lit only by candlelight. Her gauzy white dress would have occupied Byulyi’s mind longer if she hadn’t been so scared of hearing Yongsun’s rejection.

“Yesterday,” Yongsun started, but Byulyi interrupted her.

“We don’t have to talk about it, unnie, it’s nothing.”

“It’s nothing?” Yongsun repeated. Byulyi was ready to snap. No, kissing her in the warm light of her apartment under the spell they’d crafted together wasn’t nothing. It had been so much for Byulyi, but since Yongsun hadn’t felt the same, she was going to have to make it nothing. She’d wanted to say that, but Esna began to call them to the circle and they were out of time.

It was fine, they would perform the song together and afterwards Yongsun would tell her off and that would be the end of it. Meetings would be a little awkward in the future, but that was a minor problem. Byulyi would get over her shame and disappointment eventually.

Esna started the meeting the way she always did for the solstice, retelling the history of magic as they knew it, the struggles of the Foremothers, their role in nurturing magic as it grew back into the world. Junghwa gave an accounting of the year that had passed and portents of the future. Byulyi felt the tension in Yongsun next to her. They both knew what was next.

The Sharing of Talents. A simple, awkward name for an old tradition. If Byulyi had been asked yesterday if she and Yongsun had fulfilled the purpose of the task, she’d have said yes. They’d pushed their powers past their limits and woven them together into something new.

But now Byulyi didn’t know if they could summon that power again. If even their hard work would go to waste, along with Byulyi’s heart.

Esna called them to perform and Yongsun picked up her guitar. It was shaky as they started, Byulyi missed her first entrance and she could tell Yongsun wasn’t putting her full force behind her voice. So Byulyi closed her eyes and tried to conjure the memory of Yongsun’s apartment. The way the sunlight had beamed through the window and the way their voices had blended together in the small room. The smell of fresh tea and the reverent way Yongsun had held Byulyi’s notebook. The way Yongsun’s cheeks looked when she laughed and the way those cheeks had felt under Byulyi’s fingers.

She put as much of that as she could into her singing, hoping that Yongsun had been right about magic existing inside her. That she could channel her power in whatever way she chose. That she could chose to lend some of it to Yongsun. Yongsun’s voice grew stronger and Byulyi felt it radiate from her and out into the basement, seeping into the earthen walls. It was more forceful than anything she’d ever felt from Yongsun before, not when she was singing in the café to flex her powers or even in the apartment when they had sung together.

It was like Yongsun’s voice had amplified Byulyi’s words and projected them out into physical space. It had been unnecessary for Byulyi to worry about her powers not shining through in the lyrics. Yongsun’s voice conveyed the message as clear as anything Byulyi had ever written on paper. She kept singing her parts, drawing on as much of her power as she could and hoped that it was enough.

The song ended and Byulyi felt drained. The other witches cheered and clapped as they stood and Byulyi was surprised when Yongsun took her hand as they bowed. It burned with the same intensity as it had when Byulyi had kissed her.

The rest of the meeting was obscured by the echoes of Yongsun’s voice. Byulyi was still hearing the song in her head. Byulyi knew the performance had gone well, the reaction of the other witches had proved that. But the aftermath was overwhelming, the remnants of the power she and Yongsun had summoned still careened around inside her. It was like she could feel each blood cell making its way through her body. Or like she’d swallowed a lightning bolt. She tried a few breathing exercises to calm down, but she really just wanted to hold Yongsun’s hand again.

When the meeting ended, Byulyi made her way up the stairs as soon as she could slip away, hoping the fresh air would help clear her head.

“Byulyi-ya,” Hyejin said, rushing over to her side. Byulyi smacked her arm but her heart wasn’t in it. She was sure she must have left it on the bare floor of the basement. “Unnie, that was the horniest Sharing of Talents I’ve ever seen and I’m including the time Hyeran showed us her tantric orgasm.”

“Hey,” said Wheein as she draped herself over Hyejin’s shoulder, “we all learned some important things that day.” She pointed at Byulyi. “Just like we learned Byulyi is full of shit for pulling a kiss and run on poor Yongsun unnie.”

“You’re both disrespectful monsters,” Byulyi said, pouting and folding her arms.

Wheein tutted. “That’s not how you treat the friends who definitely know that you left her heartbroken and are willing to use it against you for the rest of your life.”

“What?” Yongsun wasn’t the one left heartbroken, that had been made very clear.

Hyejin started, staring past Byulyi and reaching out to tap her arm, “Oh, here she comes.”

 

“Hide me,” Byulyi said, reaching for Hyejin. It was one of Byulyi’s reflexes.

“No can do, unnie,” Wheein said. She looked around and grabbed a spoon off of a table. “Take this, for luck.” She pressed the spoon into Byulyi’s hand and then grabbed Byulyi by the shoulders to spin her around right into Yongsun.

“Byulyi,” Yongsun said and she sounded relieved, which was silly because Byulyi would have thought relief would come from never having to speak to each other again. “You were amazing.” She gave Byulyi a quick hug. “ _We_ were amazing.”

“Thanks,” Byulyi said, and she let the ensuing silence sit there and exist.

Yongsun looked nervous again. “About earlier...” she trailed off.

“I’m sorry for being an ass yesterday,” Byulyi said, hoping she could speed this along. Being rejected sucked. She didn’t want it to take any longer than it needed.

“Oh.” Yongsun played with her bangs. “I actually just wanted to ask you if you wanted to write another song together.”

“You - what?”

“I just really liked, you know, the songwriting that we did.” Yongsun looked like she was struggling to find the words. “And it would be nice if we could- oh fuck that’s not what I-” She stamped her foot in frustration. Byulyi was tempted to laugh because it was adorable. Even after everything, Yongsun was still adorable in Byulyi’s eyes. “I mean yes, it would be nice but also… we should do _that_ again,” Yongsun ended, looking up at Byulyi.

“Do what?” Byulyi asked, feeling herself soften to Yongsun again. If she wanted to write songs and weave spells together again, if she wasn’t weirded out by Byulyi’s feelings, maybe that was something they could work out.

“Umm.” Yongsun shuffled her feet.

Byulyi looked down, the spoon still clutched in her hand catching her eye. She held it up and in the reflection, she could see Wheein and Hyejin frantically miming something. A hug, maybe.

She knew Wheein’s magic was all about tiny pushes and coin flips, so Byulyi tossed the spoon down onto the table and leaned in to hug Yongsun.

Yongsun made a startled, squeaking noise, not unlike the one she had made when Byulyi kissed her. That stung her ego, but Byulyi decided to be honest anyway, even if it hurt. “I liked writing songs with you, too,” she said, keeping her voice soft. “But well, I think I’d like anything I could do with you, because that would mean spending time with you.”

Yongsun squeezed her in the hug. “Good. I want that.” She put her head on Byulyi’s shoulder and whispered, “There’s a lot of things I want,” like she was bashful. Byulyi couldn’t pull away far enough to see if she was blushing.

Byulyi took a deep breath before she said, “Would you want me to kiss you again?”

Yongsun nodded into Byulyi’s shoulder and Byulyi felt something deep within her spark alight. She’d been stuffing it down for so long, she’d forgotten how bright her feelings for Yongsun burned within her. She used two fingers to lift Yongsun’s face up enough so she could see it. Yongsun was biting back a grin, her cheeks round and sweet.

Yongsun reached up to kiss Byulyi this time and the cool air in the café was nothing like the heat they’d built up in Yongsun’s apartment, but warmth radiated through them all the same. It wasn’t the same kind of heat that their song had conjured, that was steamier. This was closer to charcoal, a low simmering glow that Byulyi knew she’d been sensing all along.

“Yes!” yelled Wheein from somewhere behind them. “It’s a solstice miracle!”

Yongsun giggled her way out of the kiss, her face ending up on Byulyi’s shoulder again. “That’s not even a thing!” Byulyi yelled back without looking. She ran a hand over Yongsun’s hair instead. It was as soft as she’d imagined. Then something light hit her in the head and scattered onto the floor. “Yah, are you throwing rice? I’m not sweeping that up!”


End file.
